Are Modern Cars Just Too Sensible?

You may have noticed that I'm not a great fan of the modern car. They lack emotion in the majority of cases. Emotion is what makes you part with your hard earned cash in the first place. Take emotion out of the equation and you're left making sensible decisions – and you buy a Ford Mondeo.

But what has made the modern car so dull? Where do I begin with so many reasons to choose from? Looking out of the office window yesterday I realised that the default colour for the UK is grey. Grey skies, grey roads, grey pavements and grey walls and roofing. Grey. Yet rather than brighten our roads up with colour, most cars are silver – which is really just metallic grey. If they were really silver they would look like the silver plated Bentley Continental GT that we've all probably seen on a viral email.

A few years ago I read an enlightening report on car colours, the seemingly obvious conclusion by the author was that certain colours are safer than others. It's obvious though isn't it? If you buy a green, brown or grey car you are less likely to be seen by other motorists. Think about it, it's why the army paint their vehicles green. Maybe in the future there should be discounts depending on your colour choice for car insurance.

Last year The AA carried out a survey on car colours. They established that basically what a buyer desires they tend to get, so 22% desired a grey – sorry, silver – car with 23% buying one. Apparently many think silver is easier to keep clean. Laziness then. No good when you've swerved into a ditch because another motorist failed to see you till the last minute on a dreary November afternoon just before dusk. Surprisingly, only 2% desired a yellow car with just 1% actually buying one. What is wrong with people? Buy bright (I own a classic orange Beetle) and cheer yourself up. My mountain bike is metallic orange as well – on such dreary days I find it marginally increases my mood glancing down to see some bright warm orange rather than er, silver.

Actually, to be entirely fair, there is no real correlation between safety and car colours as there are so many variables involved. If more cars are silver then more accidents involving silver cars will be reported. Though the circumstances will depend on the type, age and experience of the vehicle's driver too. And to be even fairer, I must begrudgingly admit that the only survey I could find on the subject while researching this piece was carried out in New Zealand in 2003. Unfortunately they concluded that silver was actually the safest colour. Of course, there are many variables involved again. If more executive vehicle drivers choose silver, the chances are their car is going to be fitted with all the latest safety items that can be abbreviated into three letters. ABS, EBD, ESP etc etc. Though I do think it's worth reiterating that there's a reason the army doesn't use bright yellow tanks.

Now let's look at wind tunnels. They, more than anything else, have ruined car design. I'm not talking about the technology involved in creating a car that saves fuel by cutting through the air like a warm knife in butter, I'm talking about the actual shape of the car. It's like a rock being constantly pounded by waves, eventually it becomes rounded as the water shapes the rock to enable it to flow across it in the easiest fashion. So, like your average automobile, all coastal rocks end up looking virtually the same – and they are mostly grey too.

So is there any hope? Probably not, there's not much hope long term for anything if we are going to be brutal. Nothing lasts forever (except plastic carrier bags) and that, we can be assured of. But let's end on a bright note, I did once find myself sitting at my desk in 2009 reading a car magazine and marvelling relievedly at the new Porsche Boxter Spyder. I love the camel-like humps on this modern classic sports car. It is one of the few modern motors that manages to coax an emotion out of me. A good one that is.