Here we are! It's summer, time of sun, holidays, shopping with violence (as UK rioting is now brilliantly termed), long overdue home improvements and... football. Hooray!
Football. Why? It's only just finished and it's back on again, omnipresent on the TV and in houses up and down the UK. Give us a break. OK, so I don't have to watch it - I don't - but its like it's here again, like an over paid alarm clock, ticking off my life, another football season (strike that; football YEAR) upon us, another year over, another year older and closer to death.
Sorry, is this getting depressing? Too right it is, same teams, same ones winning, same ones losing. Nothing changes, it's just an opiate for the masses, something seemingly exciting to take their minds off just how mundane their lives have become (apart form the occasional shopping with violence).
This doesn't have too much to do with house and contents insurance cover does it? Well no, but it is what an awful lot of people clearly spend their time doing in their homes so it could be said to be relevant. Sort of.
Perhaps I'm being a bit unfair on football. Perhaps if I supported someone, I'd understand but, if you live in Barnet... need I say more?
So let's forget football for a bit - if only... and talk about X Factor!!!
The new series starts next week!! Oh my God, my life is racing past my eyes again. It's almost Christmas. Even Simon Cowell has given up on it this year and, sitting in judgement over the 'it's like a dream come true for me (and my cancer ridden dead mother)' karaoke contestants, are an Irishman of no fixed hair colour who gave us fecking Westlife (Westlife!), someone I've never heard of, that super chav girl from N Dubz (her description of herself - nice) and Gary Barlow (hasn't he got better things to be doing?).
I'll be watching the football.
Sorry. I seem to be very moody this week. Home and building contents insurance from Performance Direct, however, make me feel all light, fluffy and full of joy because I know that, no matter how worked up I get about things that really don't matter, my buildings, possessions, fixtures and fittings will be covered and, even if I should decide to hurl a brick at my TV during X Factor (by accident), that it's covered too.